


Twin Skeletons

by Acadjonne



Category: Japanese Drama, 臨床犯罪学者 火村英生の推理 | Himura Hideo no Suiri | Criminologist Himura and Mystery Writer Arisugawa (TV)
Genre: Angst, Feels, M/M, Post-Series, im so sorry, kinda spoilers, no i'm not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6453046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acadjonne/pseuds/Acadjonne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There weren’t a great many things that Himura Hideo was really, properly afraid of. He was sure he could list his fears on one hand if he tried hard enough, but two were particularly bad; the fear of losing Arisugawa Alice, and the fear of going over the edge and taking a life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twin Skeletons

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't even know where the idea for this came from. I do stupid stuff when I should be paying attention in class tbh

There weren’t a great many things that Himura Hideo was really, properly afraid of. He was sure he could list his fears on one hand if he tried hard enough, but two were particularly bad; the fear of losing Arisugawa Alice, and the fear of going over the edge and taking a life.

The first of Himura’s greatest fears was almost brought to life when Moroboshi Sanae got her hands on Alice, and Himura had been relieved to no end when they’d found Alice, alive though he’d hit his head, and well enough to crack a joke to Himura as he helped untie him. The second of those fears, however, was a bit more of a grey area for Himura.

Though he had yet to be so beyond reason as to take someone’s life, it didn’t help that more nights than not he had the recurring nightmare of when he finally crossed that line. Those nights he’d be restless, and wake up all at once, shooting up and checking to be sure there was no blood on his hands. He’d told Alice of this, and had asked Alice to gently wake him if he ever had one such nightmare in his presence, though he’d left out some details. When asked who it was he killed in his nightmare, Himura had said he couldn’t remember, that it wasn’t someone he knew personally, as a means to appease Alice. The man worried about Himura enough as it was. But in truth, the face of the person he killed in his dreams was always the same, and always much too familiar for comfort.

Himura had no intentions of ever telling Alice that it was his lifeless face that always stared back at him when Himura looked down and saw his blood covered hands. Part of it was a selfish reason; he wanted to keep Alice close, couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from him. He simply meant too much to Himura. Another part was wanting to protect Alice. Himura never wanted to put Alice in any danger, which was why he’d been so scared when Moroboshi had interfered. However, if Alice knew about the nightmares, it would be that much harder to keep him safe, especially from himself. So, Himura never mentioned who it was he was so afraid of killing, and if Alice sensed he’d lied the first time then he never brought it up either, which worked well for both of them.

* * *

Since he’d come back after his supposed “death”, Himura and Alice were more rarely apart than they had been even before. It even got to the point where Tokie finally told Alice to “just move in already”, as he was all but living with them. Alice, blushing deeply, had protested a bit at first, though eventually he’d agreed, which Himura had internally thought Tokie was a bit too smug about. He never brought it up with her, but he did wonder about it, even though it had been over a month since then.

It was almost too easy for Himura and Alice to get used to living in the same place. They had been friends for long enough that they knew most, if not all, of each other’s quirks, and though they sometimes teased each other, they got along quite well. Himura would make sure Alice didn’t stay up too late or forget to eat while he wrote, and Alice would help Himura with cases or lesson planning. If need be, they’d comfort each other after nightmares, either by just being there, with words of calming care or just by distracting each other.

Since they were so close, some people would mistake Alice and Himura for a couple. It didn’t happen often, but whenever it did, a pang went through Himura. Himura never had the nerve to correct them, and it seemed that Alice didn’t either. Himura never brought it up. But then one day, he noticed how Alice seemed a bit upset after someone had asked them, and with a bit of coaxing got Alice to admit why he was so upset. As it turned out, Alice too had wanted to enter a relationship, but had been too afraid to bring it up with Himura. Himura had told Alice he felt the same and within the week they began officially dating. Not much changed between them, though, aside from the occasional kisses and more hand holding.

Himura and Alice hadn’t really told anyone about the change in their relationship, but Himura was sure that Tokie at least suspected something, even if she never said anything. Himura knew she’d caught them holding hands underneath the table during supper more than once, and Alice had confided one night that he was sure she knew he’d snuck into Himura’s room, but neither brought it up with her, and Tokie never asked about it.

That was another thing that had changed with their relationship. Even though they now had rooms right next to each other, they'd often sneak into each other’s rooms in the middle of the night and share a bed, leaving early in the morning to avoid Tokie’s questioning gaze. Sometimes, though, Alice would settle at Himura’s desk and write while Himura slept, watching over him in case he got nightmares. Himura liked these nights best, because he’d either wake up in Alice’s arms, or find Alice asleep in his chair, hair adorably splayed as he leaned on his crossed arms, snoring lightly and dead to the world.

* * *

It was one such night where Alice sat before his computer at Himura’s desk. Despite finishing a particularly tough and exhausting case just before dinner, Alice was wide awake, while Himura found himself about ready to doze off any moment. Just before they’d gotten ready to go to bed, Alice had gotten a call from his editor, as he had fallen behind on writing his next novel, and now he was determined to write as much as he could before he lost consciousness. Himura figured it would be a while before Alice passed out, as usually he had no trouble spending all night working when he was particularly determined. Eventually, the quick clacking of Alice’s fingers to the keyboard lulled Himura to sleep, and he dreamt.

At first, his subconscious supplied him with a steady stream of nonsensical images he’d forget once he woke up. Then came another string of dreams, and a third, until he found himself in a much too familiar forest. His brain screamed at him as he walked, an unforgettable figure fleeing from him, and it seemed to scream overwhelmingly louder when he finally caught up. He wanted to shudder at how scared Alice looked as he brandished his knife, but instead his body moved without orders, bringing the blade down into his lover’s chest as he screamed. He brought the blade down twice more, until the hand clutching his arm dropped, and then looked down at his hands. Red, warm blood stained them as he felt his lips curl at the edges, before letting out a scream.

“ARISU-!” the word died down in his throat as he shot up, and caught sight of Alice, holding his hands out as if he’d been reaching for Himura. He looked a bit confused, which Himura couldn't blame him for. After all, he’d never screamed like that after a nightmare, and certainly not Alice’s name, either.

After a few moments of silence, Alice finally moved forward, sitting on the edge of the bed facing Himura and grabbing hold of one of his hands. Himura fought down the urge to pull away.

“Himura, are you okay?” Alice asked. Himura felt his chest flutter, as it often did around Alice. It was almost hard for him to grasp how protective the writer was over him, especially after all they’d been through.

“I’m fine,” he lied, “just a nightmare.”

“Do you mind if I ask what it was about?”

Himura couldn't bring himself to answer truthfully. He didn't want to scare Alice away, make him leave, so he quickly made up a lie.

“It was was nothing, I just dreamt about when Moroboshi kidnapped you. I’m fine, Alice.” He’d had that nightmare before once or twice, and Alice had helping him calm down from it, so it wasn't necessarily unbelievable, but Alice almost seemed like he didn't buy it. He simply squeezed Himura’s hand, however, settling for moving closer and whispering comforting words to his lover.

“I’m right here, and I'm not going anywhere, alright? I'm fine, we’re both fine, everything’s alright.” It certainly helped Himura, even if Alice didn't know what he’d really been so afraid of.

Eventually, Alice fell silent, though he stay glued to Himura’s side, hand still holding his. He looked like he did whenever he planned out a new novel, face lost in thought, and Himura braced himself for what would come next.

“It wasn't really me getting kidnapped that you dreamed of, was it?” Alice was gentle in his tone, almost as if he were trying to comfort a small child. Himura shook his head, though he remained silent, and refused to look at Alice.

“Himura, please, tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this. Please let me help.” Himura hated that tone of voice, how discouraged Alice sounded, but he didn't want him to know. Unfortunately the words slipped out of his mouth without his permission.

“I lied when I said I didn't know who it was,” it felt like there was the weight of the world on his shoulders as he said it, but at the same time he almost felt lighter. “It was you I saw, it's always been you. From the very beginning, it was you.”

To anyone else, it would have been too cryptic to properly understand. To Alice, it hit like a wrecking ball, and Himura covered his face as he waiting for yelling, for a slamming door, for anything Alice would do, any negative reaction he knew he’d get. He never expected to feel Alice’s arms wrap themselves around his shoulder, though he hurried to bury his face in Alice’s neck. In an effort to comfort him, Alice began to speak softly to him, but Himura simply began to cry. Eventually he exhausted himself and fell asleep, still wrapped in Alice’s loving arms.

* * *

Himura woke up early the next morning, and the first thing he noticed was Alice, wrapped around him and sleeping soundly against his chest. He smiled to himself a bit, before remembering the events of the previous night, and began to try to think of a way to extract himself from his lover. Eventually, he settled on trying to slowly and gently remove Alice’s various body parts from where they encased him, but as soon as he tried moving Alice’s head off his chest the other man stirred.

“Don't,” he mumbled, “go back to sleep.” It was a lovely suggestion, but Himura knew he _couldn't_ , in fact, go back to sleep, so he settled for trying to free himself once again. Alice, as stubborn as he could be, simply help on tighter, nuzzling his face against Himura’s shoulder. Himura wisely took the hint to stay where he was, though he was frigid and stiff.

Alice slept for a little while longer before he finally opened his eyes for good, fixing Himura with a patient smile and a peck on the cheek. Himura relaxed a bit, though only by a fraction. Alice placed another kiss higher against his cheek, and a third on his jaw. With each gesture, Himura felt himself relax a bit more.

Eventually, Himura felt more comfortable in Alice’s arms. He gathered up his courage before he asked a question that had been plaguing him all morning.

“Why aren't you afraid of me?” _With all that you know, why do you insist on cuddling and kissing me as if we were newlyweds on the morning after?_ Himura was surprised Alice was even still here with him, much less that he was being so clingy. Alice was naturally a cuddlebug, but he usually didn't get like this unless Himura was sick or otherwise asked him to be affectionate.

“I could never be afraid of you, Himura. You don’t have to be afraid either.” It comforted Himura to hear those words, but also strangely hurt.

“Alice, I could hurt you.”

“ _Could_. It doesn't mean you would. I know you, you’d never intentionally hurt me for any reason. I trust you with my life, Himura. You’ve never let me down before.”

There were a million things that Himura could say, but Alice, seeming to know he was about to open his mouth, gently placing his lips to Himura’s. It was one of the sweetest kissed the two had yet shared, and Himura found himself thinking that just maybe, Alice was right.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for any feels that this has caused anyone


End file.
